The Law of the Caveman

My caveman is truly wonderful....An extremely hard working, loyal, honest, hilarious man....although still a natural born caveman. AND HE WILL ADMIT IT... The analogy is always helpful during an argument. You can never deny the "You are being a caveman right now" and it's usually followed by "yes yes BUT"....

The law of the caveman is such that as much as you love him, as much as you appreciate them and all that they do...they can never escape the "me caveman- me do-me need" mentality...So as I adjust to being a FTM and as I watch my caveman help with Tookie as much as he can...I can only grunt as my caveman nods off on the couch because "he's tired" instead of helping get the baby back down.. I can only attempt to draw pictures on my cave wall to illustrate why Tookie seems to cry every time she gets a "rough play" bath and despite popular belief...she doesn't like it!

The other Murphy's Law of the Caveman is that if the baby goes down on time without crying he will stay up all night to watch movies with you....HOWEVER......if the baby has a difficult time going down to sleep and your night is full of screams and cries he will nod off to sleep. As if the sound of distress and frustration soothes the caveman into slumber....perhaps the sounds of prehistoric times?

If I need a compass to navigate the FTM world then I need a club to get through the caveman years at the same time! What else should you use when the baby is up for the tenth time in an hour and your caveman has his head buried under a pillow? Hit him with the club right...exactly what I thought!

Even as I write this....I am listening to Tookie "snore" in her teething-plus-cold-just-got-my-shots sleep over the monitor and glance at my mouth-open-wide-snoring caveman...Breathe it in because all is calm right now.....until Tookie wakes up and Caveman becomes "hard of hearing". Ironic isn't it? 

Someone find me a club for this Caveman..it's going to be a long night!

Murphy is a Punk- The Law of a FTM

Who is this Murphy guy anyway? A total pessimist that lurks around in my head on those late nights as a FTM....Usually laughs at me and all of my blunders as I clumsily navigate the world of being a mommy. A First Time Mommy that is....so you can imagine....Murphy and I spend a lot of time together and we do not get along very well...He is usually there to say, "Yep! I saw that one coming!".

I WAS the calm, cool, collected and laid back person. "No worries" being a common phrase of mine as well as "no rush!". NOW I am the typical clutz...the one that is awkwardly trying to look cool yet figure out where the car seat fits into the shopping cart..Breaking a sweat over the fear that if I mess this up Tookie may not go to college....The sweat breaks out and Murphy pops into my head- If there is a new experience to be had, this FTM will break out into a sweat-filled-nerve-wracked-lesson-about-to-learn-frenzy.

What is that? The fear of something going wrong, the knowledge that it won't and the voice saying "don't screw this up!". I consider myself fairly intelligent, educated with just enough common sense...When it comes to being a Mommy...a new mommy...my world is upside down. So the notion that if something can go wrong it will....it does....it's funny....and I guess the very first lesson for me..."Let it go" and "it's not going to be perfect"...

SHUT UP MURPHY~ It will be fine. Tookie will grow up to be the best person she can be and the fact that I struggled with where to put her carseat, to wear a coat in the carseat or not, the sleeping-baby-transfer-to-the-crib-and-wake-up-immediately etc... You will flub, you will think you look like an idiot...but wouldn't you know...the baby will always think you rock...and you know what...You do....you rock...I rock....right?