The Law of the "Uncomfortable" Baby

If the baby LOOKS uncomfortable, but is sleeping, you will obsess over moving her and then wake her up.

What is that? That desire to move or shift a sleeping baby because they look uncomfortable, despite that inner voice saying "Stop! The baby is sleeping so she must be comfortable". As if you know better and that baby that is sleeping soundly doesn't. I am struggling with this as I type this. I must have glanced back ten times already to stare at her feet peeking through the slats of the crib. "Will she hurt herself if she tries to roll over?", "Will this result in her waking up screaming at 3am?", "Should I just slowly try to move her now?", "I probably shouldn't touch her at all. She is passed out.", "She is just a baby so she doesn't really know what she should be doing.", "She is sleeping"...You get the point. This inner dialogue keeps continuing until the inevitable FTM phrase, "Just don't screw this up. You're on night duty. This decision is all on you". What is that!

I have obsessed over the way she lays curled up, or on her side with her head backwards towards her back...and tonight "stuck". You know I am going to finish this blog and try to slowly move her...holding my breath and slowly backing away. That will be the wake up moment...and I will look at the clock and think "UGH it's 1:30 am, I should have LEFT her!".

Back to the rocking board.

If she looks comfortable leave her. If you move her, she WILL wake up.

The Caveman is a Caveman-

Background story:

It’s the rut. Caveman is a hunter and has rut of the brain, on the brain and a rut for a brain.

Story as told by FTM:

Tookie and I ran errands all day long including going to music class and running to meet and help take care of her brand new 3-day old cousin and Aunt. Caveman spent the entire day hunting and doing things related to hunting.

We returned home to a kind of tired and busy Tookie as Caveman continued doing hunting things.

As I was getting Tookie ready for bed I noticed a strange rash all over her and asked Caveman to call the pediatrician. Naturally, I am worried and am listening carefully to the conversation…only I don’t hear a phone call taking place. I wait and wait and ask and ask without any response.

I finally hear the phone call and ask Caveman to Google for me. I don’t hear any information and am getting nervous.

We get a call back that it is excema related and that she will be fine, except Tookie is BEYOND cranky.

I wrestle her and try to get her to bed…all while calling Caveman to help…my dinner STIL sitting on the table and think that it might be nice for him to take over so I can eat….no response…I go out and find him sleeping on the couch with his mouth wide open…at 8:45 pm….

Story as told by Caveman:

It’s the rut!

I was going to get look it up right after checking my hunting page.

I told you she was fine!

I’m tired. It’s the rut and I was up early. What do you want from me?

 Murphy's Law of the Caveman: If rut is on his brain....rut is on his brain. 

Murphy's Law of Being Quiet

The Law of Being Quiet....Tookie has been fighting a nap all day. She only took a ten minute nap at the end of the car ride and she is desperately trying to fall asleep. You get her into her crib, she quickly falls asleep, all is calm in the world- the dogs are napping- you tip toe out thinking "Ahhh...if she sleeps for the next 45 minutes I can get (dishes,shower,laundry,lunch,dusting,vacuuming,mopping,dog maintenance,reading,online shopping for that THING) done" and you SNEEZE unexpectedly and wake her up. Murphy's Law of Being Quiet is that as hard as you physically try to be quiet you will sneeze, walk into the wall, stub your toe, slam your hand, drop something or choke on your cold lunch.

The Law comes back to slap you in the face because the same exact scenario could take place and the baby could sleep right through it. You would stare quickly at your sleeping baby willing her to stay asleep, slowly back out of the room staring at the baby thinking "Phew...it's not like the other day" and BAM accidentally misjudge how fast you were closing the door and slam it or step on one of the dogs. You pick...either scenario Tookie might wake up...she might not...she might stay asleep after all of this and the dogs will bark...they might not...Murphy is a punk isn't he...

The Law of the Busy Day

I don't know what it is about busy days....I have them frequently...almost every weekend. So, you think I would be used to them.  I am busy....that's true...but a planner I am not. I don't know what it is about the day that distracts me the most and makes me into the most forgetful and clumsy person. Murphy's Law of Busy Days is such that you WILL forget diapers, wipes, teething gel, favorite toy OR the entire diaper bag. It is also safe to assume that you will not be able to find a place to buy diapers during the ensuing panic that begins to set in. Naturally, after the panic goes away and you return to your rational self...you realize...it is ok...your daughter will go to college...you are not the worst mom...and look...there's a convenience store! 

The ultimate Murphy's Law of Busy Days is such that a series of events will delay you even more all due to the infamous diaper blowout. It seems that these are the days that the universe laughs and says, "Yes, you made lunch plans with your girlfriend and her 2-year old daughter....You think you are about to leave on time...but little do you know of the events that are about to EXPLODE!". Cue the massive diaper blowout. The mother of all poop that you have been waiting for now into day 5. You quickly run to the bedroom, change the baby, change her once cute clothes that you spent longer than you should have picking out into something mediocre...but shrug your shoulders and say it's fine, wash your now strangely sticky hands and run to the car. "It's ok" you think to yourself, "I will only be 5 minutes late". This is the statement that the Universe is waiting for. The confirmation that you have received the message and are waiting for more "gifts". The Murphy's Law that if it can go wrong it will go wrong. Still driving thinking about that blowout you hit a little bit of traffic. "No big deal"..you think, "but what is that up ahead...A road closed sign? You have GOT to be kidding me". This is not a joke...and is exactly what occurred one fall afternoon. Add to this: construction IN the parking lot and NO parking spots. I drove the car around thinking "She will never believe this" and then "Murphy is SUCH a punk!".